Read the following paragraph. Obviously, we all know about American football and baseball. However, there are other sports that most Americans never think about, let alone participate in. Soccer is played all over the world. It is loved by hundreds of millions of people across all continents. Cricket is also quite popular. It is played in countries like England but also in Pakistan and India. It is the second most popular sport in the world. The third most popular sport in the world is field ho

2 answers
Question:

Read the following paragraph. Obviously, we all know about American football and baseball. However, there are other sports that most Americans never think about, let alone participate in. Soccer is played all over the world. It is loved by hundreds of millions of people across all continents. Cricket is also quite popular. It is played in countries like England but also in Pakistan and India. It is the second most popular sport in the world. The third most popular sport in the world is field hockey. It is played by both male and female athletes in many places. Which revision would make this paragraph suitable for a presentation?
Which revision would make this paragraph suitable for a presentation?
inserting stronger verbs and a more active voicemaking sentences longer and more meaningfulincluding personal and second-person pronounsrevising the text with more formal language

Answers

I think that the revision that would make the paragraph more suitable for a presentation is inserting stronger verbs and a more active voice. When doing a presentation, it's better to avoid the passive voice (as in "It is loved", "it is played) because its use seems like an evasion of responsibility. It is impersonal, so the audience may think that you are not commited to what you are saying.  What is more, choosing stronger verbs can make your statements more clear.

I believe the best answer is inserting stronger verbs and a more active voice making sentences.

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